“That’s my baby, yes touch me like that.”
“Ouch!” he pinches me.
“You’re doing it all wrong.”
“Daddy please can we play another game, I’m tired of this one?”
“You won’t leave this closet, at least not until we’re done.”
The look in his eyes made me realize,
that touching Daddy’s toy was never going to be fun and games anymore.
I got off his lap, trying to reach for the door knob.
He pulled me ever so fiercely,
it was completely by force.
My arm snapped loudly just as it got pulled off the socket,
and as my nerves caused an eruption of a painful scream, my daddy pinched me on my cheek.
He gave me a silent warning not to make a peep,
and my 5 year old mind found it hard to process all of this.
He opened his flap and revealed his toy once again.
This object had suddenly grown big,
hard like the bricks I used to play with.
Mommy where are you? Was all I could think
as daddy pushed me on my knees and knelt behind me.
I preferred that position because it hid me from his face.
I never knew the day would come when daddy’s smile would be my worse nightmare;
he had smiled at my every whimper, the look in his eyes – I will always remember.
The devil in him had been revealed
He was a monster born in my chubby daddy’s body.
As I stared in the dark, looking at the door knob,
it might have been an illusion but I think I saw it turn.
I heard him grunt just as the scream began.
If that was me screaming then I don’t think life is worth living,
a life after that would have no meaning to me.
I feel no pain right now
but all I see is me floating over my 5 year old body.
If I’m dead, then I am glad this is the end
Just before I fade, I see a shadow beneath the door walk away
Ha! So my mother had been there all along
Why had I had so much hope on that silly door knob?