Compass to my Asylum


Something woke me up
I wonder what it was.
Even with my vague dream
I’m not tempted to return.
The house seems much more quiet
Calmer than the usual night events.
The crickets have been frightened
The wind has stopped howling.
All I can imagine
Is that there’s more to this night’s magic.
I creep to my oak door;
and twist the handle.
The door creaks as it opens
And I wonder what I’m doing.
Of course​ this is stupid
My parents are in bed
As I should be.
But my feet think otherwise
A mind of its own it has.
I walk north
and stumble upon another door.
It’s my parents’ abode
Where they settle after a days’ labour.
A chill on my back tempts me to return south
The east kitchen surprisingly is not my goal this moment.
A night snack used to be the alarm call
But now I know there’s something more.
I twist the handle slower than usual
The chill on my back getting worse
And yet I push the door a little further.

As it opens 90 degree
I stand in shock
I stare in shock
I look shocked.
Trust me, you would too.
A sight stamped in my 8 year old memory.
Forever to be remembered.
A sight that would be better unseen.

I’d rather have found the folks swimming in their own blood.
Or wallowing in frightful pain.
Than the sight of dad laying on aunty Funke’s warmth.
Aunty Funke, the witch!
The lady of the night to all security guards.
The lesbian freak who fumbles me at night.
Aunty Funke now lays within my father’s arms.
Making silly whale-like sounds.
A chill I feel on my back
As I turn west I see my mama in tears.
A pathetic sight,
yet confusing at that.
If only I had drifted east.
I’d be oblivious to this.
Dad seems unaware
If he was, would he give a damn?
I care less about what he thinks.
For the compass of my mind led to this.
My south trip would have been to a blissful bed rest.
North led me to my dad’s infidelity.
West revealed mama’s stupidity.
Mama whispers…
“hush little one and go to bed”.
In confusion, my feet finds a trail.
South it is
Back to sleep
Leave mama to this
For I want no part in it!
But however I try,
I still curse the compass of my mind.

Tonight, yet again
Another horrific dream
That’s what I tell 8 year old me
“Go to sleep Mary, it was all a dream.
“Go to sleep, it was a dream..
“Sleep…Now you’re dreaming……
Good night 😊

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