I’m Anna Walker, a small town girl with a small mindset. I have no hope neither do I have dreams. All I desire is to live. Everyone around me knows of my phobia, the fear of touch, is what they call it.
You think it’s unrealistic, don’t you? Touch me and then you’d see what a girl in trauma really means.
I could scratch you brutally and tear off your skin with my teeth. You’d judge me and believe there’s nothing but a beast in me.
My friends have all given up on me, laid me in my grave even before death beckons. They don’t have to say it but hate is all they feel for the one they despise so desperately.
But now let me Introduce myself. I’m Anna Walker, the rape survivor. The one who the men felt was a perfect tool for violent sex. Animals!!! Is what I choose to call them because no human would choose to sexually abuse a nine year old child.
My mama refuses to look me in the eye, my sisters all just do not understand. “Why would their big sister avoid them so?” they wonder.
I live in my own imagination, where all I have to do is breath. Nothing else seems to matter. All I want to do is live.
I wonder how many people can boast, yes, boast of being raped by their uncle and their crazy old father.
Do you still wonder why I have that phobia?
Do you still think you shouldn’t bother with the likes of me?
To all the men who stare at me and think “She’s a virgin” I tell you all, I’m not shy, just scared you’d do what my Father did.
Ten years after my trauma and I still choose to live. Even with the fear in my mother’s eyes, the confusion in my sisters eyes, the hate in my friends eyes, and the lost look in mine. I choose to live.
Let me Introduce myself. I’m that girl you judge. I’m that person you avoid. I’m the one you spite. I’m little Anna Walker.